Prime Minsiter to launch nationwide inquiry into who is stealing her goddamn office stationary2/16/2018 In a statement to the press today the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern outlined her governments plan for a nationwide inquiry into the recent disappearance of several items of office stationary from her office in the beehive. The lost item allegedly include:
1 Stapler at least 5 "Lets do it" branded pens a computer monitor 4 packets of red thumbtacks "These latest developments are worrying and I think that the New Zealand people need closure as quickly as possible" The Prime Minister concluded. At this point it is unclear who may be the culprit, however Not The News has obtained a memo indicating that justice minister, Andrew Little was sighted coming out of the Prime Ministers office wearing a black beanie and carrying in hand a large sack labelled with "swag", shortly before the inquiry was launched. - Not the News
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